Worry is interest paid on trouble before it comes dues

Can’t take credit for this but its a great line

Worry is interest paid on trouble before it comes due.

 William Ralph Inge


I wish I could have taken this to heart this weekend. My problem is everything is going so well,  and a tiny part of my brain that is expecting failure kicked into high gear on Friday.

At work, yes this will all be vague, I sent a slightly snarky email to a co worker. I forgot and forwarded to a contractor for our company. This person has complained about me before, that I have question why this person can request lots of rushes,  I was spoken to but not a big deal. I was very concerned all weekend that there would be a problem based on the email.

I had a paranoid fantasy that I would get fired and I would be out on the street. I could not stop myself for worrying  no matter how hard I tried. The good news is that I did not wreck my diet and I did get to the gym and worked out.

Why do I have few good weeks and then all of a sudden I find one situation and completely blow it out of proportion?

Usually this is posted on Sunday, but I had homework for my online class and needed to watch Netflix to try and close down my dumb lizard brain. Why do you need to know I am a day late on the blog entry- just letting you know that I did not get all my goals accomplished this weekend because of my needless worrying.

One thing I forgot to tell myself this weekend…..

You will get through this.





Restful Sunday- not really

Good Evening,


I only say this because I had planned to write this some much earlier in the day but I got side tracked by my ambitiousness and its well, Sunday evening.

I got up early 5:30 am- yes still working http://miraclemorning.com/ but honestly I did not feel that great so I did not get up and do the 2 miles I have been doing. I watched part of a movie and then started feeling guilty about being so lazy. So I got up and did laundry and just hung around some more.

Well then after my 3 glasses of water and breakfast kicked in I decide to clean around the apartment. That went well, then I decided I needed to work out. Did I turn on the TV and do my usual Leslie Sansone  walking work out?  Nope

I decided today was the day to join http://www.olatheks.org/parksrec/olathecommunitycenter. I get there when they open at noon and sign up. I know I am advocating cost effective self improvement, but I know the machines make me work harder so $44 a month seemed like a good investment. I quite smoking 2 weeks ago so that money will be used to improve my health not ruin it.

Well I did 35 minutes on the Eliptical and 25 on the treadmill. I came home and I was worn out. Then I had to rush and get my class work done for a correspondence course I am taking. It took me 4.5 hours to finish the lectures, readings and quiz. I aced the quiz on my first attempt.

its is 8 PM I am going to find something to eat and fall asleep watching another movie.

Long day but a good day- I am not bored or depressed. I am tired and happy with my productivity today.

It was my day off and I had lots to do and I made all the decisions. My goal is to do want I want when I want 7 days a week not just 2.

We will get through this.






Becoming a Better Person one morning at a time

Well I have never been much of a “morning person”. My usual morning routine is to hit the snooze button for 1/2 an hour take the dog out, do an impression of a fireman and rush out the door to get to my job. Not much planning goes into a day like that and does not set a very positive tone for your day.

Well as I am on own I can do whatever I want, and lately I have not been making great choices. I decide I needed to work towards my goals. I need to get healthy, make my long term goals come true and make enough money to do that. I don’t necessarily want to be rich, but my goals will cost money.

As I stated in my previous blog- I don’t have a lot of disposable income so I have been finding ways to improve myself and help that is low cost but mostly no cost.

I discovered http://www.stitcher.com/  and all sorts of podcasts. This is free service with ads of course. Check it out, they have comedy, news, language and self- help pod casts. Which lead me to find Hal Elrod…

Starting on Saturday 6/28/14 I have been exercising and getting up early to prep for my day. In no small part to http://www.halelrod.com/ and his http://www.miraclemorning.com/. He is a salesman to be sure but he put together a great presentation of practices that can work. I have been using them for 7 days and I have to admit my outlook has gotten much better. I am indorsing a practice of working towards your goals and a concrete and measurable way- if Hal is not doing it for you by all means go find one that fits your personality and temperament.

I might breakdown this week and purchase Hal Elrod’s book Miracle Morning because I cannot get it from the library. I also believe at some point you find something that works and you want it handy to review over and over. The library has lots of self-help books so that is a great source to supplement you self-improvement knowledge.

The best find for lifestyle changes as far as health and wellness is http://www.sparkpeople.com/ this is a free site. The site has a weight tracker, nutrition tracker, fitness tracker and articles and videos to help you get healthier. I even broke down today and took a before picture one week into this new venture. Not sure I will post yet but I have it to remind me I want to get serious about changing my life. And if you sign up please tell them member am3566 referred you so I get the credit. They have a motivating points system and if you sign up you will become obsessed with getting points.

The next cost effective tip is for exercise. I have found work out tapes at the library. What I am using now is http://www.youtube.com. Not that I don’t think anyone that hangs out on the internet has not hear of it but it’s not just cute pet videos they have all sort of exercise workouts as well.

OK enough of the advice for today. I just want to again remind anyone who is reading this, you only way will improve your life to your satisfaction is work and you don’t have to spend a lot of money doing it- just do the work.

 you will get through it

Not depressed just bored

I am not depressed I am bored.

Nothing in my life challenges me..

Is it my own fault YES fear of failure makes me take the path of least resistance.

The path is straight and in black and white and offers no comfort.

Using food and alcohol to push down my boredom only makes me think I am sad.

I have been thinking that I am depressed. If you turn on your TV or check out any media they  try and convince you that you have treatable depression,of course you are not lazy or bored you a depressed its not your fault here take a pill and you will feel better. I think my body does not like the drug they gave me as my neck is hot and itches and I feel like I have a rash. So much for better living through chemicals.

I am back to listening to self help audio and figuring out why its so easy for those people to get things done and be successful. I believe they have passion for things and persue it with single mindedness that I have been unable to find.

The only thing that really bothered me about going to the doctor was that I learned I had gained 41 pounds since I started and my last desk job. As I am talking the the PA about me being depressed and no desire to do anything , I could see over her right shoulder is on the computer screen my weight gain  highlighted in RED of course, which depressed me even more




Well I started this post on 5/24/14 it took me till yesterday to finally Just get started and clean up my act. I have to be honest I have done this many times before there was always this tipping point where I decide to make better choices and take care of myself. ordinarily it’s looking in the mirror and seeing the results have being depressed and using outside substances to make myself feel better.

I look around this apartment complex where I live and there a few people like me, they are single, overweight and look like they are just going thru the motions. Yesterday I made the decision not to do that anymore. I  have found economical ways to improve myself and I am going to write about them and maybe even venture into podcasting.

I am typically a cynical person and is that nature/ nurture? Who knows but I am going to take myself on a journey and I want to try to be an inspiration to help others do the same.